Dear Michelle

 I stood idly by

All the messages I did not reply

All the moments I closed my eyes

To your silent cry.

I did not protect you,

I did not look after you

Like I was supposed to.

Time and time again

I abetted abuse

To misuse you;

I enlightened eyes to undress you.

I looked aside

When the disheveled hair on the chest

Pricked you.

I held my nose

When the musky scent of sweat

Nauseated you.

I clapped for him

I did not reprimand him

The first time.

I did not throw him out

The second time.

I feigned absence

When he came into your room 

The third time.

I thought your smiles were genuine

I thought you locked your room

To pray and read your books,

I thought you asked for paracetamol

To relieve the pain of Saskatchewan's toll.

Nothing I do can bring back what you lost back then

Nothing I write can numb your pain.

Nothing but Grace can make you feel whole again.